"For it is every bit as important in life to understand who you are NOT, as to understand who you ARE."
- Elizabeth Gilbert
Boy did this hit home for me.
My life recently went through an earth shattering change. (Trust me, that will be a whole other post.) This change was so significant that it has made me question, well, everything. My whole life. All of my decisions up to this point. My whole identity. Heavy stuff, right?
When your life takes a left turn and goes in a direction that you didn't expect, it leaves you feeling lost, like you've been let go and are drifting out to sea. Everything suddenly looks different and certain things that you thought defined you are no longer relevant. This is what I have been feeling for the last few months and I was really struggling with trying to figure it all out and decide who I was now. It was so overwhelming.
All of us struggle with our identity at some point. I think many of us, if not all of us, will do things because we feel like that is what we are supposed to do. It is what is expected of us by family, friends and society. We try to make things "fit" even though they may not be serving our greatest good.
When I read this quote it just kind of clicked with me. Maybe I need to start backwards and decide who I'm NOT, instead of struggling with trying to figure out who I am right now. I thought that maybe figuring out who I'm not, would make who I AM a little bit clearer.
So here is the list I came up with so far...it was actually SO liberating to admit some of these things. Give it a try!
My NOT List
- I am NOT a yogi....Don't get me wrong, I like an occasional yoga class for the stress relief and the beautiful, calming atmosphere. But I would choose sweating it out in a spin class with loud club music blasting in my ears any day. Apparently I like torture.
- I am NOT a work at home type of entrepreneur....I like having somewhere to be in the morning other than my living room. It gives me a sense of purpose. Plus I get totally distracted by Netflix and my cat when I'm at home.
- I am NOT a camper.... Well, sort of...We went every summer with my Dad, I was a girlscout for 10 years, I camped with my friends, I was the camping queen when I was younger! And they are some of my absolute best memories in life. I can still rough it with the best of them, still love hiking, love being outdoors and I can put up a tent like a pro! But after a long day of hiking I like a nice pair of clean sheets and a cocktail. Kill me.
- I am NOT the mom type.... I have some fabulous kids in my life. My godchildren are amazing and I would do anything for them, my friends have the cutest kids ever and I hope to be an auntie one day. (Hint, hint Liz) But I have never had the urge. I think having kids is one of the biggest decisions you can make and I admire the hell out of all of the wonderful mommies in my life. But I just don't think it's for me and I'm ok with that.
- I am also NOT:
a movie watcher
a concert goer
a fashionista
a football fan
a 9 to 5er
a meat eater
a cook
a workaholic
a crazy Disney fan
The best part of this exercise is that I know I can change my mind at any time. I know that some of these things will change over time. Because that is what we get to do as humans, we get to change our mind! We get to grow and constantly evolve! Who we are, or aren't, may change tomorrow. So I am going to try and sit back, relax and be ok with where I am right now, at this very moment.
